19Nov2014 1800: Mostly About An Enema

I didn't post last week because I was trying to make a cat poop. I'm sure you understand. When I got home last Tuesday I found no less than seven unique blobs of cat vomit. It was possible to reconstruct the timeline of Edmond's day, as each blob had less and less food in it until, by the last two on my bed, it was nothing but colorless liquid. Ha ha! I thought. All harmless fun from a slightly ill cat! When the litter box was clean that night I thought it made sense because yes, of course he had puked out all the food that day.

When I got home Wednesday it was clear that Ed had neither eaten nor pooped all day -- now it was a concern. I spent Blog Time last week in the local vet hospital with limping dogs and haggard cats. The vet gave me the choice between doing some blood tests to find an aging issue or doing X-rays to find a blockage. We weren't missing any cat toys, so like an idiot I chose blood tests. Negative blood tests!

Thursday morning he still hadn't eaten or pooped a thing so he got X-rayed at the regular vet. There was definitely some poop all up in his business, so I was sent home with some cat laxative and told to watch his condition. I spent my weekend playing board games and tricking Ed into eating molasses lube goop. It doesn't take much to trick a cat, turns out. But still no poop!

The situation was finally resolved yesterday morning with the aforementioned enema. I was not present for the procedure, but when I picked Ed up after work the vet got a very serious expression on her face when she intoned "a significant amount of stool". And now Ed's eating again! The ingrate! I try not to hate on entire species (except pandas), but when a mammal can be constipated to death I think maybe we need to hurry up and resolve this whole "flesh bodies" problem. Put a little extra effort into the coming chrome rebirth.

[Peaking Lights - Everyone and Us] revels in a time when 80s music began to make fun of itself, each local club band racing towards Peak Synth in a discordant jumble of drum machines. Did that time ever exist? I wouldn't know, I was too busy watching G.I. Joe and being awesome.

[Lizzo - Bus Passes and Happy Meals] seems like it has all the elements of rap songs I like. Lizzo is puffing up her chest at "haters", it's super-fast rapping, there's an okay bassline. But when she went through the typical "honey-money-funny" rhymes with no self-reflection, acting as if she invented them, I knew it was not meant to be.

I'm not even sure how to classify [Lia Mice - Our Heavy Heart]. It's every girl-indie band I like muddled together indistinctly. I think it's most like Eisley trying really hard to cover a Tegan and Sara song and not quite getting there.

[Huxley - I Want You] seems to exist soley for remixing in clubs, an assertion backed up by the YouTube search results. There's a little of every instrument in here, a decent bpm, and extremely clear vocals; there's also just the little hint of digital space between all those tracks that lets you know this song can be taken apart and put back together in thousands of ways. So why should we care about any one particular way?

[Dean Blunt - MERSH] forgoes most instruments entirely for a monotone monologue. I'm sure it sounded good to Mr Blunt when he was at his highest. It sounds like a beat poet kicking a Moog around the stage at an open mic night.

[Black Milk - What It's Worth] wants you to know about guns, cash, and hoes. Have you heard of those? He will explain it to you at length. And when he's done explaining he'll fade out this song and replace it with a minute of jam session.

After all the anemic teen-club music and barely-there rap, [Wild Cub - Colour] wants to take you to an arena show. These guys took a Goo Goo Dolls song and doubled the drum beat without speeding up anything else. You can't fool me! You were weenie ballads in high school and you're a weenie ballad now, drums be damned.

05Nov2014 1830: Pincers

It's time for a new crop of lobstah to feel the icy pincer of death: this weekend is the most magical of family outings, Lobstergiving. For both of you who still read 52 Yo Mama, I did work ahead far enough to get a special treat up on Sunday. Otherwise I'll be incommunicado and away from my daily routine. Just in time to yearn for the patch that came out yesterday...they added a library! LORE.

November also means a new crop of sonic failures crashing into my earholes, courtesy of Google. [White Arrows - We Can't Ever Die] is electronic dance music, a small portion of disco's revenge from beyond the grave. I only ever hear this style in free Google monthlies or Grand Theft Auto games, so...this one's okay? Mr. Arrows is sure pushing those keys in a rhythm, oh boy.

Oh great, a feat! [Les Sins - Why (feat. Nate Salman)] has a curious tension between the negative associations with "feat" and the positive associations with "Why", a perfect title to base a Not Covers playlist around. Otherwise this is yet more disco. It's even discoier than the last song, given its choice of fuzzy-feeling keyboard sounds.

[Dads - Chewing Ghosts] has the slightly-messy guitar sound and slightly-messy mope vocalist that had a brief reign in the mid-90s. Goo Goo Dolls? Wallflowers? Dad's not quite either of those but it could have been in the rotation.

Not sure what Google is trying to say, with Dads and Single Mothers back to back. I was hoping [Single Mothers - Half-Lit] was the members of Bratmobile getting back together after a decade break. Sadly, even the band name seems to be calculatedly ironic, as this is far more Suicidal Tendencies punk than Bratmobile punk.

Is November "Punk Remembrance Month" or something? [Places to Hide - Cough Syrup] is yet another throwback punk tune, all guitar and no tone. But one thing the disco revival could learn from the punk revival(?): even when they're terrible, punk keeps it short.